Having just had a visit from my parents to my new grad school home, I thought it might be worthwhile to discuss that first parental visit after a new college student has gotten settled. For some it’s during the actual Family Weekend, for others it might have to do with a holiday, and sometimes parents just plain want to see their a while after that hectic move-in day in August.

Most of my extended family lives in Los Angeles, so the first time my parents visited me after I’d started college was actually for Thanksgiving. For some reason I became totally fixated on organizing my desk to the extreme—like that was how they were going to know that I was okay and doing well in school. Suffice to say that my dad took one look at my array of pens and pencils, meticulously arranged in order of color, and knew that I had put way too much extra effort into the situation. Oy.

Tidy up—but don’t individually Windex the blinds.
I think that everyone—from the cleanest of the clean to the biggest slobs—makes some sort of extra effort when parents are going to visit their current abode, whether it’s a dorm room, apartment, whatever. Make the bed, vacuum, pitch the beer bottles, but nothing is worth freakishly scouring the tub or anything else that adds extra pressure to the impending visit. And I did individually clean my blinds for my most recent parental visit. They didn’t notice. What a waste of 12 antibacterial wipes.

Share your new life.
At first, I didn’t want my parents wandering around my dorm or stopping for a snack at an on-campus eatery. I felt protective of my new life on campus and had a hard time realizing that they weren’t looking to judge my laundry facilities or quality of food. They just wanted to see what I was doing and how I was adjusting to college life. Parents care, worry, and frequently fret, and a simple lunch on campus so that they see that their kids are eating more than fries and Easy Mac can go a long way. Over the course of my college career, I showed my parents around campus, introduced them to people I knew as we passed them, and revealed one my super secret library study spots (I figured my secret was safe with them).

Own your choices.
My parents were a little confused when, after spending half of high school as the editor of my school newspaper, I decided to pass on even applying to work for my college newspaper. In my first two years of college, I really tried to explore as many different experiences as possible, whether it was trading in newspaper editing for middle-school mentoring or pondering a switch from my intended major (which I did end up doing).

I think that after working so hard on college applications for so long—which, as we well know, involves a great deal of planning for the future and stating life dreams and goals—I was ready to just explore and not measure everything in terms of “the plan.” This was hard to explain to my parents, who just wanted me to do well, and I had to let them see that I was happy sampling some of what college had to offer. The thing is, I did ultimately join the staff of my college newspaper. By that point, however, I did it because I wanted to, not because anyone else thought I should. Parents are supposed to worry-and college students are supposed to explore and figure these things out for themselves.

So how did your family’s first campus visit go? Any advice…or crazy stories?