This letter is not about me—although I am scintillatingly wonderful, of course—and it is not about the future, despite the fact that there is so much I am busting to tell. At least, it isn’t about these things in any direct sense.

You see: I know you. I know you do not want to know what you will be like at age 54. You most certainly do not want to know what happens to you in the future. Not now, especially, when you have so many options (and when you dare not contemplate them). I recognize that you have no concept of the future, who or what you might become, how you might think or act. In many respects, you do not care about it at all. It seems more than a little boring. I understand. I will therefore not disclose anything about me, or the future. All I will say is that your life is better, more fulfilling and more exciting than anything you could imagine.

To turn to what interests you—the present and your place. I can help: 37 years of living with you has taught me a lot. Let me share some of my thoughts so far.

First, this making mistakes business. Well, yes, you make mistakes. It is in your nature. Your life is bound up in a confident bubble, and you are committed to experiencing it. That means you are going to make mistakes; you need to make them to figure things out. You attack your life drawings by starting with lines you know are wrong; you keep pouring them onto the paper, and gradually improving the form and shape until you have the line you need. The process is a little messy, but you are moving ahead, you get stuck in and achieve a result that is so satisfying and exciting, you want to eat it up. Your style in life is the same. Not for you standing back, figuring things out and jumping in with the answer. You involve yourself in the process of life, you do what you think is right at the time, and if it proves to be wrong, you keep improving and redoing it until it works. I know you hate to make mistakes, and sometimes people are a little less forgiving than you would want. But what you end up with is dynamic, exciting and fulfilling—so satisfying you want to eat it up. Mistakes are part of the process.

I will allow you a bit of “to know me is to love me.” There is a lot of satisfaction in knowing that you cannot change the deepest aspects of your psyche. What makes you act the way you do has the power both to make you cringe in embarrassment and also to soar to achievement and success. Fortunately, the way you are is not so bad for you. You can trust the way you are. You are going to take risks, but you are never going to do anything truly self-destructive or wrong. When push comes to shove, you will react generously and lovingly, because that is your nature. You can be confident in it. Accept it, and allow it to happen.

However, I am not saying you should ever be satisfied. You can do better. You know it. You have to keep learning, keep improving. Every day, you need to absorb as much as you can. You will go on making mistakes, but you should not make the same mistakes twice. If you do, you are not paying attention. Mistakes are there to be understood, appreciated for what made you do them and why, and stored away to ensure you will not do them again. This is where other people come in. They will teach you what you need. Listening to and learning from other people will open you up to new ways of thinking and of doing things, new techniques, new approaches –a word here, a reaction there, silence when you would have spoken, a kind or wise word when you would have been mean or sulked or responded in anger, using humour, laughter, rising above pettiness or revenge. Look outward, and absorb as many of the good things from those around you as you can see. To a large extent, this means letting go, forgetting how you look and sound, and digging in.

I know what you are thinking here. Not everyone is my mother. Not everyone—by a long chalk—is going to think I am absolutely wonderful. Not everyone knows you or cares to get to know you. Listen to and learn from them, too. They are right that you are not the centre of attention, that the sun does not shine out of your ears, that you should not assume that you can always charm your way out of anything if they only knew you better. You won’t be able to forget about them; you will have to figure out how to give to them and forget your needs, because otherwise, they will drive you down. And they won’t even be aware that they are doing it. The more you secretly demand something in return from them—and the more minor the demand—the more their failure to offer it to you will make you feel worthless. The only way around this is to give to them, not to demand anything in return. You will not be noticed, perhaps, but you will feel great—believe me—and you will move on.

So much for the internal spiritual comforts and rewards of life. What of those achievements that are more [ahem] objectively measurable? I think you already know what you need to know. All that is worth accomplishing in life, and all those accomplishments that give you such profound satisfaction and fulfillment, can only be achieved through effort and, yes, a little sacrifice. That’s definitely the bad news. The good news is that the effort and sacrifice really isn’t that strenuous. You just have to set aside the time. You can do it. Given the opportunity to do it wrong the first time—there I go again—you will achieve it and do it better than you ever thought imaginable. All you have to do is look at the finished product and say to yourself: I can do this over, better than this, even though as I sit here, I have no clue how I am going to do it. And then spend the time and effort and get it done. All it takes is confidence. And you have that. Stick with it. It will get you where you need to go, and far further than you ever imagined.

A wise man once told me that as you grow older, you become more like yourself. I agree. All that I am, I owe to you and to the way you are there. I am just more like you now than I ever was—and it is really great. So, I offer one last thought, because you deserve it: As I sit here, off the top of my head, I can think of 75 absolutely amazing, awesome, magical moments, times and days in my life. I leave you with one thought: All of these 75 experiences have yet to happen to you.

Name: Matthew Vafidis

High School: Norton Knatchbull School, Ashford, Kent, UK

College: St. Catharine's College, Cambridge

Now: Lawyer (Partner, Holland & Knight)

This letter was written as part of the Better Grads special series: "Write a Let­ter to Your High School Self." Contributors are asked to answer questions or concerns they may have had in high school, such as "What's the purpose of college?" and "Is it worth it?"

On Monday, the New York Times ran an article highlighting the various ways colleges handle helicopter parents who are helping their children move in to their new dorms. More specifically, college deans and orientation leaders are finding that they must be more explicit when telling parents that their presence is not required for the remainder of orientation.

This raises an interesting question: why might parents feel incentivized to stick around after schlepping and then arranging all of their child’s gear from the likes of Ikea, Bed Bath and Beyond, et ceteta? A blog post that same day, from the New York Times Economix blog team provided an intriguing, yet plausible answer.

The blog cites a recently published report from Sallie Mae and Gallup, noting that “on average parents pay, from their income and savings, for 37 percent of the total cost of attending college.”

Couple that with the associated emotional concerns of moving a child into school, and it becomes clear why parents feel compelled to return after day one of orientation. Parents, like any smart investor, want to ensure that they are not wasting funds on their child's education.

So high school students, while your folks might want to stick around because they cannot bare the thought of not seeing you the next day, understand that they are making sure that you, as the student, are making the best use of their hard earned dollars.

With issues such as the proposed Islamic center near Ground Zero dominating the news and national dialogues these days, now is as good a time as any to discuss religion as it pertains to today's college students. So what do you think?What has been your experience with religion in college–or lack thereof? What was the spiritual and/or religious culture like on your campus? Share your thoughts below!

What's a for-profit college? Think DeVry and University of Pheonix. These schools offer a range of degrees (think X-ray technician certifications to master's degrees) and are run by private, profit-seeking companies or groups, which makes them an easy target for public criticism.

However, this list focused on the traditional institutions that rack up the most student debt, as a large part of the U.S.'s college-going culture seeks admission to these revered schools. It's important to note that these prestigious universities, also, do not leave students' wallets unscathed. Here's the list, via Gawker:

1) New York University: $659 million
2) University of Southern California: $631 million
3) Penn State University: $590 million
4) Ohio State University: $560 million
5) University of Minnesota: $495 million
6) Arizona State University: $479 million
7) University of Texas: $474 million
8) Michigan State University: $433 million
9) Indiana University– Purdue University: $421 million
10) Rutgers: $398 million

It all comes down to the same basic question in the end. What's an education worth?

In America, the answer to that question often comes in the forms of decades-long repayment plans to student loan agencies.  Fortunately, more and more programs that aim to educate students about student debt are beginning to sprout up. Check out the student loan resources we've cited in recent articles about student debt.

For now, all we can do is educate and spread the word about managing student debt, since higher education isn't free. If it was, for-profit schools wouldn't even have a chance.

I have one more day of my journalism graduate student orientation at the Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism at the University of Southern California, and I'm wiped! In a good way. My 40-or-so other new student cohorts and I have been wowed with dozens of multimedia presentations, lectures and discussions with faculty, program directors and current students. We're getting a full dose of the opportunities available to us through our academic program, as well as an opportunity to meet and greet each other. It's orientation overload, and we're being given a lot of undivided and sincere attention.

And we're not alone. Across the country, scores of new college students are going through the same experience. It's dorm move-in week for lots of freshmen, many of whom are accompanied by box-toting parents who get to attend their own "So your kid's in college" sessions put on by campus residential staff. Freshly landed international students are getting a taste of American student life in the form of meet-and-greet social mixers. New Ph.D. candidates are settling into their new homes for the next few years, and they're often welcomed with special orientations tailored specifically toward their research interests.

The massive orientation trend that sweeps college campuses each fall speaks volumes to the overwhelmingly welcoming culture toward new students. Overwhelmingly welcome, it is.

These orientations take tons of planning, lots of administrative support, and of course, motivated coordinators. Did you know that there's actually a national organization dedicated entirely to education orientation professionals? The National Orientation Directors Association (NODA) gives out awards, scholarships and other recognition to standout orientation programs at colleges and universities across the country. They publish papers, hold conferences and network with Canada, even. A few years ago, I wrote about some NODA awards San Francisco State University received for their ongoing support of students long after orientation fever winds down for the season.

The point is this. What goes on behind the scenes of orientation programs is of no use to those being oriented at the moment, but it's worth taking a step back and noting their hard work. Being thrown headfirst into an academic program with no context or resources would be a shame. Students deserve to be presented with a comprehensive package of what they've signed up for, as college is such a large investment of time, money and sanity. Orientations, while often mandatory, are a school's way of respecting the commitment each student has made to the institution.

Here's to a BetterGrads tip of the hat to all the orientation and student affairs professionals out there who've put an incredible amount of time into planning, preparing and executing orientation programs on college campuses this fall season. Orient on!

Or in the words of my new alma mater, Fight On.

I have been staring at this computer screen for days trying to figure out why it is so difficult to write to you, and I just realized something. I know you. I know you, and I know what you’re thinking right now, and you’re already rolling your eyes at this letter because you don’t need advice from anyone. So listen, I am going to ask you to do something for me. Trust me. I know it is completely against your instincts right now to believe anything I have to say, but I promise you if you can just trust me with this, you’ll be happier with yourself a lot sooner.

First of all, I have some bad news. Mom is right about everything. I am serious, everything you are so absolutely sure she is wrong about, she isn’t. So do yourself a favor and stop trying to prove that you know more than her. You’ll end up being best friends with her, so why don’t you just expedite that process by shutting up and listening to her a little. She loves you and she is trying to keep you from making a lot of mistakes in the future.

Oh yeah, you end up making those mistakes anyways. Don’t look at me; you’re the stubborn one that has to be right all the time. The good news is these mistakes take you in a new direction that you end up fitting into perfectly.

Now, I know you hate knowing the future and feeling like your life is completely planned out for you, which is probably why you are so afraid of psychics, so I won’t tell you what happens. I will tell you, though, that you’re very happy with the way things are turning out, and everything is okay.

Here is some advice I can give you.

College isn’t scary, STOP WORRYING.

You are a smart girl, and the decisions you are making this year ARE important, but they are not permanent. Stop stressing out about choosing the right one because you are allowed to change your mind. And you will, many times. Some people might frame this constant change as indecision, but I need you to know that it isn’t. You have always believed in changing the things that make you unhappy. Just because others don’t normally react with that same mindset doesn’t mean that your way of handling things is wrong OR negative, and neither is theirs. Learn this now.

Trust yourself. You’ve always loved writing, volunteering and helping people. Keep that in mind when you are choosing a major. I will give you a hint: Choose the career that you want to have instead of that other one you think you are supposed to have. This applies to everything else in your life too.

Don’t treat friendships like they’re temporary. Many of the friends you have right now are still your friends six years later. I know you think they’ll end when high school does, but the good ones last. Friends are also more important than your job. Please realize this as soon as possible because it isn’t worth losing anyone amazing over.

The last thing I have to say is important, extremely important. I know you’re having a rough year with your dad. This is probably the scariest thing you have ever experienced. I understand, trust me, I understand. You can’t keep this a secret. Keeping his illness a secret for awhile will cause you to resent all of your friends for not making it better. How are they supposed to support you if you don’t tell them what is going on? It isn’t fair to them or you, so just don’t do it. I made this mistake, but you have a chance to change it.

You can’t prepare yourself for his death. I understand why you so strongly feel the need to prepare yourself for losing him, but this isn’t something you can ever prepare yourself for. I won’t tell you what the future holds but don’t let what you think the future holds dictate how you treat him now. He is one of your best friends. Don’t resent him for changing. Don’t resent others for not caring about him, you, or your family. Don’t try to love him less.

Let your relationship with him change without thinking it is a negative thing. Be more understanding of the pain he is in, the treatment he is going through, and the medication in his system. Talk to him more. Call him more. Take more pictures with him. Dance with him. Joke with him. Continue doing all the things you used to do together. This is the kind of relationship you always loved having with him and this is the kind of relationship you should keep with him. If you don’t, you will absolutely regret it, and you have a long life ahead of you. He is an amazing father, so continue to treat him like one.

That’s all the serious stuff I got for you, kid. You still reading? I hope so.

Keep going to Good Charlotte concerts, wear lots of sun block, and don’t worry about the SATs. Study a little harder for the AP Latin IV exam, and date a few more guys. I know you think they are all bad, but a few of them come back around and end up being great.

Love your family, love your friends and stop stressing about how everything is going to turn out. You’re life is pretty golden where I am standing.

You have nothing to worry about.

Your 22-year-old self,

Annie

Name: Annie Leroux
High School: Notre Dame High School (Sherman Oaks, CA)
College: Cal State Long Beach (Long Beach, CA)
Now: Student and digital content producer

This letter was written as part of the BetterGrads special series: "Write a Let­ter to Your High School Self." Contributors are asked to answer questions or concerns they may have had in high school, such as "What's the purpose of college?" and "Is it worth it?" If you'd like to submit a letter for publication, please read our editorial guidelines and let us know here.

If you are not the most indecisive person in the world, I really don’t know who is. Or do I?

Making decisions is not exactly your forte, but the ones you have made have been, to put it plainly, quite rash. What looks good on paper is not always everything that it is cracked up to be. Think through things calmly, explore, and make decisions based on what is true to your core, and not to the fleeting desires and ideas of those you surround yourself with.

Get rid of all of those comparisons that you tend to make. Your name is Seneca, for crying out loud, and, indeed, I have yet to meet someone who can capture in a word who you are. I sure hope that it remains that way. Never do a job that you do not like; money should not rule your life. But, keep in mind that one day, Dad will ask you to start helping to pay for insurance, so don’t be ridiculous. Do not fear the unknown or the fact that you do not always have a plan or a direction. Life is much like a compass, and it will move when you move, so be proactive, but don’t feel so locked in for life to everything that you do.

Welcome what comes your way, and grow and change because of it.

Be happy for others, and always give a listening ear. Find your gut and follow it. Read and write as much as you can, and minor in Spanish. You’re going to want to know how to speak it. Let that silly little guard down, and allow yourself to be fully loved, and then fully heartbroken. You can be tough, and still have an occasional cry. Don’t you ever let a boy fully rule or ruin your mind. They are often more trouble than they are worth.

Recognize that you have always done things in your own time, and will continue to do so.

Stay in the pool! You are a great swimmer, and you are safest there. Take care of your mind by taking care of your body. You are a strong woman with two arms and two legs that work, and a heart that pumps, and lungs that breathe that delicious smoggy Los Angeles air.

Grow with grace, elegance, and maturity, but never forget that you are always one of four KIDS, and are capable of being silly and slightly inappropriate. Surround yourself with people who bring out the very best and most unique lights that shine in you, and spend your life making people better because of everything that you are. Be happy for others, and be happy for and with your own self. Say things with conviction and purpose, and make an impact that is bigger than being spontaneous with people you’ve always known in places that you have always been.

Love and appreciate what a rare gift your family and friends are. Thank them for that. You are, because they are. You’re learning a lot of lessons, and the road is rocky ahead, but take it from someone older (and wiser) that things will smooth out. Thank whatever spiritual body out there in the universe it is that you believe in for all that you have, move forward from your mistakes, and continue to live as the best version of yourself.

With deep love and four added years of sage wisdom,

Seneca (age 22)

P.S. That tattoo on your right foot looks great.

Name: Seneca Zamora
High School: Louisville High School
Colleges: Wagner College; Pierce College; Loyola Marymount University
Now: Peace First Americorps Member

This let­ter was writ­ten as part of the Bet­ter­Grads spe­cial series: "Write a Let­ter to Your High School Self." Con­trib­u­tors are asked to answer ques­tions or con­cerns they may have had in high school, such as "What's the pur­pose of col­lege?" and "Is it worth it?" If you'd like to sub­mit a let­ter for pub­li­ca­tion, please read our edi­to­r­ial guide­lines and let us know here.

I know you’re worried about going off to college, but don’t be. The truth is, college is a lot of work, but the work is not super difficult. For the most part, it’s reading and writing, just more than you’ve ever seen in one place at one time. You can handle it. College is a lot like digging a hole: it’s not going to strain your brain, but you’re still going to need to bust your ass to get the job done. Don’t slack off, don’t get cocky, and if a professor wants you to learn something that sounds ridiculous, just go with it. You don't need to take everything they teach you to heart, but arguing with the professor will get you nowhere; just do the work, get the A, and move on.

You are going to be attending a community college for two years, but don’t be embarrassed. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. Those two years cost me less than one quarter at a four-year university, and it was quality education that prepared me for what was to come. So make your jokes about how you attend the University of California Behind Costco, but you are going to save a huge pile of cash.

Moving on, I know you think you can eat whatever you want, but maybe… don’t. A man cannot survive on microwavable burritos alone, at least not without suffering some serious consequences. You keep eating crap like that, and a surgeon is going to open you up and excise three of your internal organs, and you will thank him for saving your life. That’s not hyperbole. Go eat some vegetables. I mean it.

Also, you need to stop taking yourself so seriously. Accept that you don’t know everything. Accept that sometimes you’re going to look stupid. Learn to laugh it off. Learn to laugh at yourself. It will make your daily interactions a thousand times less stressful and it will help you to become a better person and less of a miserable prick.

Finally, and I can’t stress this enough, stop buying System of a Down CDs. No joke. I know you think the music is deep or whatever, but out of all the CDs you got in high school, those are the ones that I cannot listen to.

Signed,

You from the future

Name: Jamie Moody
High School: Livermore High School
Colleges: Las Positas College; University of California, Davis
Now: Writer

This let­ter was writ­ten as part of the Bet­ter­Grads spe­cial series: "Write a Let­ter to Your High School Self." Con­trib­u­tors are asked to answer ques­tions or con­cerns they may have had in high school, such as "What's the pur­pose of col­lege?" and "Is it worth it?" If you'd like to sub­mit a let­ter for pub­li­ca­tion, please read our edi­to­r­ial guide­lines and let us know here.

Wow, will you be in for some surprises!!! Now, you may think you know what you want to do in college and later in life, but let me disabuse you of any notion that your plans are worth a dime! You will not only change your major two times over the first couple of years in college, but you will also find your career calling in an area that you may have always felt an attraction for, but which you never really counted as a serious option.

All of this is good news though! You will discover new things that will greatly stimulate you intellectually, you'll meet amazing mentors and friends and develop relationships with them that will go on for the rest of your life. And that's just awesome!

Lastly, one piece of advice on your personal life. College will be a place full of all sorts of people, from the really smart to the really, really stupid. So it's very important to make good decisions in choosing your friends. Also, for the first time you'll be on your own. There will be no one to take care of you and protect you from making bad decisions that you will come to regret later on. So don't let all the silly talk about "experimenting" in college lead you to do things you will be sorry you've done later on.

Good luck!

Name: Ionut Popescu
High Schools: Inechita Vacarescu, Romania
Colleges: Occidental College
Now: Graduate student, Duke University

This let­ter was writ­ten as part of the Bet­ter­Grads spe­cial series: "Write a Let­ter to Your High School Self." Con­trib­u­tors are asked to answer ques­tions or con­cerns they may have had in high school, such as "What's the pur­pose of col­lege?" and "Is it worth it?" If you'd like to sub­mit a let­ter for pub­li­ca­tion, please read our edi­to­r­ial guide­lines and let us know here.

Your 23-year-old self thought your 17-year-old self should be aware of the following:

Please start questioning yourself and take some time to reflect on the choices you make and how they define your character. End this robotic non-sense. There’s no instruction guide this time around, but you can start by seeing what meaning you can extract from Socrates’ quotation, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Stop thinking that the universe of colleges exists only within the top 25 teams in the ESPN / USA Today college football weekly poll. As much as you want be that “guy” on Saturday mornings and afternoons who paints his chest in his school’s colors and helps rally the student section in the large Division I behemoth of a stadium, you’ll realize that such fan behavior extends to the smaller schools who play in D-III conferences and you should consider applying to those schools too. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did.

You already push yourself in the classroom and consider your schoolwork to be a top priority. I know you had a quasi-nervous breakdown when you had to write that String Theory outline for your chemistry class at the last minute. That was no easy feat. Wait ‘til second semester of your sophomore year of college. There will be plenty of nights where you begin your work at 10 PM and finish writing the paper at 4 AM. Not that I recommend you develop such habits but understand that that you will have to continue to work hard through college. FYI: you will spend some Friday and Saturday nights completing your schoolwork. And that’s quite all right seeing that you currently do this now. Just goes to show that past behavior is a true predictor of future performance.

Oh, and you can say adios to scantron-based exams once you exit the realms of high school. You’ll realize quickly that there is a significant difference between memorizing concepts and understanding them. Here’s how you are going save yourself some trouble: you’ll know that you’ve mastered a concept when you can clearly explain it to a fellow student. There’s your litmus test.

Additionally, don’t assume that because you will enjoy your AP Macroeconomics course during your senior year of high school that you were clearly destined to major in Economics. Take the risk and dabble in some hard science courses, like kinesiology, or perhaps, chemistry.

I bet you’re marginally concerned about your Spanish language skills. Having studied the language since the 7th grade and with no more available classes after your completion of AP Spanish Literature, que te va a pasar con su habilidad para dominar esta lengua? ¡Ay Jacobito, no te preocupas! Bueno, pues, te vas a seguir con sus estudios de los autores y literatura de Sur America y España, y a la misma vez, tendrás unas oportunidades para brillar sus destrezas de escribir atrás de los ejercicios de investigación. Va a escribir una autobiografía corta (¡será súper guay!) y comentar sobre cines españolas como El laberinto del fauno. Además, vas a estudiar afuera de los E.E.U.U. en Granada, España. Allá te vas a mejorar sus destrezas para dominar la lengua Español  y desarrollarás su apoyo para el equipo futbol FC Barcelona. Cuando regresarás, vas a hablar con fluidez y con un acento que suena un poco mas castellano (¡por ejemplo, el sonido de “z” se cambia a “th”. Jaja!) Oye, Jacobo, te vas a dejar su huella, en todos de los sitios que visitaras. Be thankful your mom made begin your Spanish studies, in Middle School.

And speaking of your Mom, continue to take pride in your family. Despite the fact that certain family rules might have cramped your social endeavors (i.e. the “No parents at the home, no going to the party” rule), you’ll have plenty of opportunities to chase the night and shindig to your heart’s content in college (I’m confident you wont’t make this a priority). And for all those Friday evenings when you were reveling in Shabbat family game night, you will develop some wicked talents to throttle your friends in epic games of Scrabble. No one will be able touch you when it comes to well-played two-letter word scores and the sneaky words that begin with the letter q, and the second letter is not a u.

Your passion for Judaism, its values, and its morals will not desert you. When you make your way to a small liberal arts school in Los Angeles, you will find that you are one of a few Jewish kids on campus who keeps kosher. And you will find that said school is very flexible in constructing a kosher meal plan to meet your dietary needs. Score! While your school’s Hillel organization will not be your cup of tea, you’ll find that you are comfortable and just as content performing certain rituals on your own. And you should not degrade yourself because your younger sisters know how bake Challah while you simply watch in awe. You’ll feel inspired, rise to the challenge, and your new friends will come away impressed and somewhat envious your baking talents.

I think that’s plenty of information for you to digest. I’ll leave with a few closing remarks:

Continue to say “please” and “thank you.” Do everything you do with 1,000 cm3 of passion and enthusiasm. Never stop trying to learn more about what makes you, you!

Your future self,
–Jacob Weiss

PS: Stay away from those French toast sticks. They will go straight to your stomach and make you an honorary member of the statistical club otherwise known as Freshman 15. And learn to love more fruit, beyond granny smith apples!

This let­ter was writ­ten as part of the Bet­ter­Grads spe­cial series: "Write a Let­ter to Your High School Self." Con­trib­u­tors are asked to answer ques­tions or con­cerns they may have had in high school, such as "What's the pur­pose of col­lege?" and "Is it worth it?" If you'd like to sub­mit a let­ter for pub­li­ca­tion, please read our edi­to­r­ial guide­lines and let us know here.