When the dean of undergraduate admissions at Yale writes about college acceptances, it’s certainly worth a read. Jeff Brenzel recently posted on The Huffington Post his advice for students when they have been accepted to college. I thought that this was a great idea since even though it’s extremely important to discuss dealing with disappointment and roadblocks, it’s just as important to discuss what to do with those acceptance letters.

Brenzel advises students not to dwell on rejections, but I would argue that it’s okay and even healthy to allow a little “mourning time” for those skinny envelopes. Even though I was careful to apply to a mix of “reach” and “target” colleges, I was still very disappointed when I didn’t get into a few in particular. It wasn’t about one school being better or superior to others, it was about spending so much time learning about each school, imagining my life there, working hard on the application, and then having that taken off the table rather abruptly. So I think that it’s okay to spend a little time lamenting those rejections before moving on. I browsed the websites one more time, bid adieu to the viewbooks, probably cried over one or two, and then I was able to focus entirely on the colleges that did accept me.

I’m glad that Brenzel discusses the weight that we so often give to  selectivity reports and ranking lists. He advises that students eventually push those aside and make a more holistic decision and I completely agree. My choice came down to Bryn Mawr College and Occidental College and I had a hard time because nobody from my high school had ever even applied to Oxy, so I felt like I was deciding between a total unknown and a well-known, prestigious women’s college. College rankings are like opinionated classmates, teachers, and guidance counselors that come with fancy numbers and percentages to back up their statements. Listen to them, understand them, but don’t let them make the decision for you. It took a lot of effort and energy to view Oxy in its own light, but I’m so glad that I did.

One of the things that helped me do this was overnight stays at each my final two contenders, which Brenzel also advises. Visiting a college as a prospective applicant and visiting as an accepted potential student are extremely different experiences. For one thing, you no longer have to take notes on average SAT scores and application requirements—this time it’s completely about what you want to know and get out of a campus visit. When I visited Bryn Mawr and Oxy post-acceptance, I had a list of specific questions regarding academics, study abroad possibilities, campus housing, academic advising, and much more that I just couldn’t get into on such a detailed level when I was still applying to college. If an in-person visit is out of the question, many admissions offices will help accepted students get in touch with current students with similar interests so that they can ask questions and gain further insight into student life at that particular university.

Last but certainly not least, I wholeheartedly agree with Brenzel’s recommendation that students (and their parents) scrutinize the financial situation for each school. This is one thing that I did not do thoroughly and it complicated things further down the road. Clarifying my situation early on would have made matters much easier after I enrolled.

What do you think of Brenzel’s article? What advice would you add?

As February gets underway, we can anticipate many important milestones: Valentine’s Day, the day after Valentine’s Day (hello, discounted candy!), President’s Day weekend, and of course…the college admission decisions that will start cropping up in mailboxes/inboxes across the country. It’s nerve-wracking, tense, and exciting all at the same time.

My own experience with this time turned out much differently than I first anticipated. For one thing, after submitting my applications I had more time to really consider what I wanted in a college. I know that this sounds very counter-intuitive, but I had loved some big universities just as much as the small colleges throughout the college search and I applied to a mix of both. Specifically, George Washington University was high on my list for its location, the Elliot School of International Affairs, and the fact that going there would mean meeting many other students whose interests were similar to mine.

By the time the fated decision letters arrived, however, I had decided that I needed to be on a smaller campus. College would already be overwhelming whether I went to the school with the largest student population or the very smallest. So even though I’d applied to several medium-to-large universities that appealed to me very much, I had a strong feeling that I would aim to end up at a small liberal arts college. I never regretted applying to that range of schools because it never meant that I would not have had great experiences there; it’s simply that sometimes we need to go through the entire process, start to finish, in order to gain clarity on what will be the best decision.

Of the schools that accepted me, I zeroed in on Bryn Mawr College, and Occidental College. Oddly enough, Oxy was one of the first schools I ever seriously considered while Bryn Mawr was literally my last tour and application. They differ greatly and yet I was equally drawn to each of them for different reasons. I did overnight visits at both schools and e-mailed with professors from departments that interested me. I hemmed and hawed. I majorly freaked out about the decision and consulted with just about anyone who would listen. As cliché as it sounds, I eventually put away the reasoned lists and comparisons and went where my heart took me.

Ultimately, I was very happy with my final choice—though honestly, I know that I would have been happy with many of the schools to which I applied. After all of the stress of applying to schools, we sometimes forget that it can also be very difficult to hold the decision-making power. Here’s what I learned:

• making pro/con lists is great—but don’t underestimate the value of that classic “gut feeling” (that’s what tipped the scales for me)
• tour guides and overnight hosts are helpful, but it’s crucial to talk to as many students as possible to get a genuine feel for the college and its student body
• food is key: try out as many eating locations on campus as possible and be sure to ask about vegetarian/vegan/kosher/allergy accommodations if that’s a factor
• clarify financial aid information

And most importantly…everyone will have an opinion and it’s definitely good to listen to the input of family, friends, teachers, guidance counselors. Listen. But then make your own decision.

How did you make your college decision? What measures were most helpful in the process? Least helpful?