A while back I shared my own experience exploring religion in college. This article by the Huffington Post’s religion editor provides excellent insight into how and why college can be such a breeding ground for religious exploration.

With issues such as the proposed Islamic center near Ground Zero dominating the news and national dialogues these days, now is as good a time as any to discuss religion as it pertains to today’s college students. So what do you think?What has been your experience with religion in college–or lack thereof? What was the spiritual and/or religious culture like on your campus? Share your thoughts below!

As a freshman in college, I remember a particularly tidy male friend of mine saying that he was all for co-ed bathrooms in the dorms. Why? Because, as he explained, then maybe the guys would be cleaner.

I was not convinced, but the memory sticks with me as similar stories have emerged and the topic also pertains to the larger issue of gender-neutral campus housing on college campuses. My own experience involved living in co-ed buildings in which the hallways were designated by gender, but roommates were same-sex only. This seemed typical to me and it worked out fine—while I don’t think I would have minded living in co-ed hallways, I definitely would not have been okay with co-ed bathrooms. I already found the shared bathrooms (for the first three years, typically a dozen or so women sharing a 4-stall restroom) to get crowded and messy at times, and let’s be honest, sometimes kind of awkward. A co-ed bathroom—especially with the number of students usually sharing in a typical dorm—would not be my style, but I understand why it’s favored by many students.

Beyond co-ed bathrooms, gender-neutral campus housing has become a significant issue on many college campuses. My own college has addressed it, Syracuse University offers gender-neutral suites, and Columbia University recently saw a movement to institute a policy—and that’s just a few examples.

After students at the Barnard College (which is all women) unsuccessfully tried to gain gender-neutral housing, students at their affiliate Columbia University took up the cause last fall. Sarah Weiss, a senior at Columbia, reached out to the LGBTQ community on campus to develop a gender-neutral housing policy that would be feasible for the university to implement.

“This was about creating a safe space for students who identify with the LGBTQ community, who might not feel comfortable either living with an individual of the same gender” or living within the traditional male-female binary, Weiss explained.

Although the LGBTQ community led the efforts, Weiss emphasized that gender-neutral housing is in no way limited in who it benefits—many students have expressed an interest in living with a roommate of a different gender regardless of sexual orientation. It is, as Weiss explains, simply about “creating safe living spaces” for all students.

Students worked together to propose a workable plan for gender-neutral housing at Columbia and met with a range of university administrators, including the college deans. The deans requested further details from the students, which led to the formation of a task force that has worked throughout this semester to further develop the policy plan. One issue was where the policy would be implemented—a single building? Campus-wide? After much deliberation, the students determined that campus-wide gender-neutral housing would be best because keeping the policy to individual floors or buildings would be “isolating,” Weiss explained. The students are now hopeful that a pilot program for gender-neutral campus housing will be implemented at Columbia for the 2010-2011 academic year.

In my view, the debate over gender-neutral housing on college campuses is significant for a couple of reasons. First, since the LGBTQ community has driven the debate on many campuses, it’s an important signal of the overall role played by students identifying as LGBTQ on college campuses. However, since gender-neutral housing is widely supported beyond the LGBTQ community, I think that its rising prominence speaks to a heightened involvement of university students in their schools’ and campuses’ lives. Students are taking a very active role in examining the policies that shape their college experiences—I think that we’re going to see more universities look at gender-neutral housing among many other initiatives that matter to students.

Having just had a visit from my parents to my new grad school home, I thought it might be worthwhile to discuss that first parental visit after a new college student has gotten settled. For some it’s during the actual Family Weekend, for others it might have to do with a holiday, and sometimes parents just plain want to see their a while after that hectic move-in day in August.

Most of my extended family lives in Los Angeles, so the first time my parents visited me after I’d started college was actually for Thanksgiving. For some reason I became totally fixated on organizing my desk to the extreme—like that was how they were going to know that I was okay and doing well in school. Suffice to say that my dad took one look at my array of pens and pencils, meticulously arranged in order of color, and knew that I had put way too much extra effort into the situation. Oy.

Tidy up—but don’t individually Windex the blinds.
I think that everyone—from the cleanest of the clean to the biggest slobs—makes some sort of extra effort when parents are going to visit their current abode, whether it’s a dorm room, apartment, whatever. Make the bed, vacuum, pitch the beer bottles, but nothing is worth freakishly scouring the tub or anything else that adds extra pressure to the impending visit. And I did individually clean my blinds for my most recent parental visit. They didn’t notice. What a waste of 12 antibacterial wipes.

Share your new life.
At first, I didn’t want my parents wandering around my dorm or stopping for a snack at an on-campus eatery. I felt protective of my new life on campus and had a hard time realizing that they weren’t looking to judge my laundry facilities or quality of food. They just wanted to see what I was doing and how I was adjusting to college life. Parents care, worry, and frequently fret, and a simple lunch on campus so that they see that their kids are eating more than fries and Easy Mac can go a long way. Over the course of my college career, I showed my parents around campus, introduced them to people I knew as we passed them, and revealed one my super secret library study spots (I figured my secret was safe with them).

Own your choices.
My parents were a little confused when, after spending half of high school as the editor of my school newspaper, I decided to pass on even applying to work for my college newspaper. In my first two years of college, I really tried to explore as many different experiences as possible, whether it was trading in newspaper editing for middle-school mentoring or pondering a switch from my intended major (which I did end up doing).

I think that after working so hard on college applications for so long—which, as we well know, involves a great deal of planning for the future and stating life dreams and goals—I was ready to just explore and not measure everything in terms of “the plan.” This was hard to explain to my parents, who just wanted me to do well, and I had to let them see that I was happy sampling some of what college had to offer. The thing is, I did ultimately join the staff of my college newspaper. By that point, however, I did it because I wanted to, not because anyone else thought I should. Parents are supposed to worry-and college students are supposed to explore and figure these things out for themselves.

So how did your family’s first campus visit go? Any advice…or crazy stories?

As Elizabeth mentioned, February is a month filled with opportunities for budding relationships (college acceptance letters) and heartbreak. (sigh…rejection letters).

In some cases, these same letters may force some soon-to-be graduating high schools seniors to revisit a question they once confidently answered months before penning rough draft personal statements. What’s more, the answer to this question may not arrive after one discussion.

The question is simple: “What’s the value of a college degree?” Using qualitative and quantitative analysis, Wall Street Journal columnist Sue Shellenbarger attempted to answer that question. Below you will find excerpts from her December 2009 article as well as some great BetterGrads-inspired commentary.

Finding work you love. College degrees can guide students’ career choices in subtler ways. Jason Wotman, 24, loves his work as a co-founder of Tailwaiters, a Great Neck, N.Y., startup that runs tailgate parties for clients at sporting events and concerts. “It’s mine, it’s my baby. Every step, every ounce of progress, feels good,” he says.

His degree in human and organizational development from Vanderbilt University helped launch him as an entrepreneur, he says. His courses in marketing, human-resource management and leadership equipped him well to size up opportunities and run a startup. “Taking it from an idea to an actual business, I felt like I had the tools,” he says.

BG comments: Jason’s story illustrates how college is an incubator for great ideas. On a similar note, coursework, research grants, and volunteer opportunities prepared our own Kevin Adler to run Bettergrads.

Preparing for a rich, well-rounded life: To Megan DeLamar Schroeder, Texarkana, Texas, planning the college experience based entirely on future income demeans its true value. “The intangible benefits … cannot be reduced to some kind of short-term cost benefit-analysis, as though one is purchasing a piece of property or an expensive sports car,” she says.

She borrowed $40,000 to earn an economics degree from Stanford University in the 1980s, which landed her only an entry-level job at a bank upon graduation. She spent 10 years paying off her student loans. But the experience was worth every penny, she says. The opportunity “to ‘marinate’ for four years in an amazing environment” served as a “springboard to lifelong learning and inquisitiveness,” she says. She will encourage her 10-year-old twin daughters to hew to similar values when they start their college search, she says.

BG comments: What’s the value of “experience” and “intangible benefits?” As Chris Anderson, author of Free: The Future of a Radical Price notes, “Tuition buys direct proximity to ask questions, share ideas, and solicit feedback from academics like [UC Berkeley Physics Professor Richard] Muller. It’s access to the network of other students and the idea exchange, help, and relationships this provides.” That sounds like value to me.

Click here to read the full article and feel free to share your thoughts below.

The Los Angeles Times ran an article, where fashion columnist Adam Tschorn interviewed Neil Patrick Harris from “How I Met your Mother” who discussed how much he loves his Paul Smith and Dolce & Gabbana suits, because they fit and flatter his tall and narrow frame like no other. The article reminded me of the time when I purchased a suit the summer before my first year of college. Though it was one size above my true suit size, the store manager said that I would grow into it. After four years, and some occasional ribbing by former co-workers who made a habit of noting that my suit was too big each time I wore it to work, I never, “grew into my suit.”

At BetterGrads, we think the idea of a great fit extends beyond the fashion world. Around this time of year, when prospective students begin to receive their admission letters and weigh their various offers, the phrase “I’m looking for the college that’s the best fit for me” becomes ubiquitous.

At first glance, gauging how a particular college could be the “best fit” sounds nebulous. To the best of my knowledge, there is no magical number crunching formula where one can plug in a values for variables such as quality of social life, number of majors, professor-to-student ratio, etc, and yield a “best fit” rating. However, just as there are simple ways to determine that a suit does not fit one’s body (ex: if the shoulder pads extend beyond your shoulders, you’ve got a problem), there are similar ways to evaluate whether a college will be a great fit too.

Do your homework ahead of time

As a former roommate once told me, “When you know yourself, decision making becomes easy.” Without having to spend an exorbitant amount of money revisiting each school that sends you an acceptance letter, take the time to create a checklist filled with prequalification questions highlighting the necessary attributes required for a college to be considered a great fit. This exercise will provide you with the necessary framework to compare schools across the board. In my case, I knew that I was not ready to attend a college located 3,000 miles away from home. Additionally, the struggles I experienced in some of my larger Advanced Placement classes made me realize the value of the smaller learning environment from my days at a private Jewish day school.

Considering these factors, I decided to pass on the admission offers from two medium-sized schools on the east coast. Thus, putting in the time to generate these prequalification questions was an excellent exercise in helping me narrow down the list of schools that met my requirements and saved me unnecessary travel expenses.

Use your Eye-Q

Yesterday, a co-worker lent me his copy of Stupid, Ugly, Unlucky, and Rich, an easy to read book filled with interviews from a range of folks sharing their thoughts on what really leads to success. In one section of the book, Author Richard St. John shares a quotation from Marilyn vos Savant , “‘To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.’”

So, when visiting schools on admitted students day, use your Eye-Q to help determine whether a particular school will be the “best fit.” For the introverted folks out there, an easy way to learn about campus is to pick up a school newspaper. This one published document provides a snapshot of campus political views, past social events, and in some cases, current student gripes. For those who would describe themselves as extroverts (myself included), I found that talking to the students who were not tour guides or had any affiliation with the admissions department provided me with invaluable insight to hardball topics ranging from access to professors, diversity, strength of the career center, and overall satisfaction with school. Overnight visits are also useful.

A common refrain on many college campuses is that they become a sort of “bubble” around their students, whether it’s a 1500-person liberal arts college or a university with 20,000 undergraduate students. Here at BetterGrads, we spend a lot of time discussing college communities and the importance of getting involved on campus and exploring different classes, research opportunities, activities, and events. A college campus can also feel a bit stifling at times, especially when compared with significant real world events that put things into perspective.

Hurricane Katrina struck right around the week that I started college. My first weeks at Oxy were marked by op-ed articles in the campus newspaper by upperclassmen discussing (okay, criticizing) our student body’s involvement in relief efforts on the Gulf coast. I got involved in a sort of ad hoc effort to raise initial funds to contribute to local relief organizations and, with a bit more time, existing college clubs developed tools to educate on the relevant issues, raise funds, and ultimately send students as relief volunteers. By the following year, Professor Caroline Heldman had established a Disaster Politics course that takes students to New Orleans to do relief work over winter break. This was a considerable lesson in “bursting the bubble” in the sense that students and faculty took the reins in staying abreast of the situation and, more importantly, facilitating students’ ability to get involved in as many different ways as possible.

I completely understand why many college students—particularly in times of national and/or international crisis—feel that their coursework and other obligations pale in comparison to the needs presented by the situation at hand. Rather than feeling ineffective or unhelpful, I would urge these students to find (or start) the relevant efforts on their campuses and surrounding communities.

I know that this has already started to take place in the aftermath of the recent earthquake in Haiti. Classroom discussions, teach-ins, speakers, fundraisers, supply collections, and many further endeavors are all extremely valuable ways for universities to both contribute to aiding Haiti as well as preparing their students to be informed citizens—and volunteers and/or professionals in relevant fields if they so choose.

Students, educators—what’s going on in your college communities to help Haiti? What would you like to see universities do in the wake of a devastating event like a natural disaster?

Throughout my college career, I made a lot of resolutions. I made resolutions at the beginning of each school year as well as the calendar year, so basically I made a new set of goals/resolutions every semester. Sometimes they worked, sometimes they didn’t. In all honesty, many of the same resolutions surfaced at the start of several semesters. What worked? What didn’t?

Make the Dean’s list every semester for the rest of college.
I was very excited to receive a letter at the end of my second semester of college informing me of my place on the elusive Dean’s list. I had no idea what the GPA minimum was or if any other indices of evaluation existed (i.e. number of credits, upper-level coursework, etc). Nevertheless, I put more value on that piece of paper than the actual schoolwork that got me there. I don’t think I ever received another letter even though some semesters I earned the same or better grades—the criteria was never clear and, in reality, it did not make much of a difference in how hard I worked. I was shooting for an external measurement of achievement that ultimately did not hold much relevance to my individual course of study. I think that setting goals for grades can be extremely useful, but they should be made with regard to the student and not directed towards a broad, institutional benchmark.

Eat one meal a day with someone else.
Seems obvious, right? Wrong. By the third week of the semester, classes are in full swing, events and extracurricular projects need planning, and internships eat up time. It’s pretty easy to fall into a pattern of eating on the go or while studying and writing papers. To-go containers are a college student’s best friend, but it’s also useful to actually plan time with your real best friends as well. The first time I actually resolved to sit down to eat with a friend every time, it felt kind of strange and artificial. And no, I didn’t actually fulfill it every single day. Setting the goal, however, meant that I actually made the effort to do so and I’m glad that I did. I was more relaxed on days that I scheduled lunch or brunch or coffee with friends and I didn’t feel like the weeks were flying by quite as fast—one resolution definitely worth keeping.

Go to more events on campus.
This is one regular appearance on my resolutions list that could have used some tweaking. It’s vague. I would intend to go to “more events” without actually thinking through what I meant: Speakers? Career workshops? Performing arts events? It’s no wonder that I ended up skipping most of the campus happenings I jotted all over my day planner. College calendars are chock full of a vast range of opportunities to see authors and experts of all kinds, musical performances, join discussion groups, learn about a certain career, and so much more. There was no way that I was going to hit it all. Eventually I realized that I was more interested in certain speaker series and career workshops than other events, and aiming to attend more of these made this resolution far more feasible.

Read for fun.
If it happens, great. But do yourself a favor and stop stressing about the stack of untouched bestsellers on your bedside table. Reading for fun is supposed to be fun, not a source of more stress!

Does anyone else make academic resolutions at the start of each year or semester? If so, what are they?

On September 2, 2009, the Los Angeles Times published “Dorm food gets schooled,” an article on Saul Sutcher, a junior at Occidental College, who is “redefining cuisine with his campus ‘cafe.’” Saul, like many college students, grew tired of the uninspiring offerings of cafeteria food. But instead of wallow away with “overcooked, unseasoned pasta that lies on the plate as mush,” Saul used his cooking skills and entrepreneurial vision to launch Cafe Norris, a once-a-week gourmet cafe offering such fares as duck ragu, pancetta-wrapped quail, and tarte aux pommes for dessert (pictures included in case you lack a gourmet cafe at your school / in your life).

The original article is well-worth a read (find out how a top-notch summer internship helped Saul prepare for dishing the goods at Cafe Norris). Last week, I caught up with Saul to learn more about this awesome venture and find out how his experiences in college helped him achieve his gourmet goals.

Kevin F. Adler: What is Cafe Norris, and where did the idea come from?

Saul Sutcher: Cafe Norris is a cafe that I run out of a dormitory kitchen at Occidental College. We offer a fixed price meal on Saturday nights consisting of three courses: appetizer, main, and dessert. We showcase local seasonal ingredients and prepare simple food that is a great break for students who may be tired of the dining hall. Not only is there good food, but diners sit at communal tables, where one has the chance to meet new people.

Cafe Norris really came about from a dinner conversation at my house – stemming from both the desire to cook while I was at school as well as really being sick of the dining hall food. Cafe Norris seemed to be the perfect remedy to both of these problems.

KFA: How did you do it? How were you able to create Cafe Norris?

SS: Cafe Norris was a somewhat slow process. Accumulating twenty chairs, tables, silverware, plates was not an easy task. Not to mention all of the cooking implements and equipment. With the help of craigslist, and some flea markets, Cafe Norris really started coming together. One really important step that I took during the process was setting a goal for myself. I set a date for the first night of Cafe Norris. I had 15 people signed up to come to dinner that night, so I was really forced to find things quickly.

KFA: How supportive was the campus community in launching this venture? What resources did you use to create Café Norris?

SS: Although the administration was not helpful setting up and carrying out Cafe Norris, Occidental definitely was as a whole. Friends of mine who were on committees defended me during housing meetings. A number of Faculty members came forward, sending me really nice emails showing their support – which was great to hear, and really in a way motivated me. Getting a note from a professor saying that what you are doing outside of class is an inspiration to them was really special. These are the people I look up to in college. Professors are big role models for me not only in an academic setting but in who they are and what they are doing with their lives.

KFA: How has your experience in college prepared you for launching this venture?

SS: Academically, college helped a lot with Cafe Norris. College has given me the insight that if you really want something, no matter how hard the material is, no matter how big the task, you will be able to get that A or accomplish the goal you set out to achieve. It gave me the confidence that I could get Cafe Norris up and running.

KFA: Did you have a good sense of what college would be like out of high school? Were you right? What surprised you?

SS: Coming out of high school I really thought college was a place where you sat down in front of professors and you were bombarded with all sorts of boring facts and you would be writing all sorts of papers on books that were way too long to finish. But what I didn’t realize is that college isn’t about the facts, it isn’t about the long books; it’s about learning how to learn – which was unbelievably important in creating Cafe Norris. Learning how to teach yourself skills, how to solve a problem … that is what is important. That is what I love about college.

KFA: If you had five minutes to talk to a group of high school students about college, what would you tell them?

SS: There is really one piece of advice that I would give to anyone in high school: don’t do something because you think that is what you should be doing. Do the thing that you want to be doing. Whether that is going to the college you want to go to, not the one you think you should go to, or taking a class because you think you should take it, take the class that you want to take. The rest of your life out of high school is about you, and so live the life you want to live don’t let people tell you what life you should be living.

KFA: Is there anything else you would like to share on your college experience, Cafe Norris, or the impact college has had on you personally or professionally?

SS: If you want something badly enough, then don’t let anyone or anything get in your way of achieving your goals.

A Wonderful Beginning
When you start college, it can be easy to lose track of why you went there and what you’re really there for. Starting in college across the country, either I lost sight of that for a little while, or the reasons I went cross country weren’t the right ones. I was a freshman at Occidental, who was going to be a Political Science major in pursuit of a Law degree down the line because a law degree, even if I didn’t want to be a practicing lawyer, would be good graduate degree to have.

It made sense on paper and when I answered my family and other adults with what I’d be doing at college. I thought it made sense to me. The problem was, I didn’t give half a damn about politics. I found it difficult to care about an American political system whose rules, classifications and structures to me either seemed impractical, ineffective or, at their best, woefully inefficient. Unlike the twenty some other students in my politics 101 class, I simply didn’t care, and simply didn’t see the point in caring.

Fast Times
So, my grades suffered, because not caring about the most basic class of the course of study I had convinced myself would be my major made me not care about all my other classes. I drank hard on weekends, slept through most of my classes, and decided I’d enjoy what I could out of college, which was drinking and friends and, as it turns out, that isn’t a whole lot. I was placed on academic probation for my second semester at Occidental, and when I was packing my bags to head back east, I found myself wondering if it would really be such a bad thing not to have to pack to come back out west again.

Over vacation at home though, with my mother asking me about grades and the college experience, I felt conflict eating at me inside. The school I had so nonchalantly left seemed to be calling me as a haven to return to. I didn’t get it, so I wrote a story to try to sort myself out. It was a simple little thing about how when I got the letter of expulsion in five months, I’d run away form home. Cheesy, I know, but it’s how I felt. If I didn’t have college I didn’t want to face my mom and family.

A Time to Reflect
The story ballooned as my character (myself) bounced around the country visiting friends, and, eventually, visiting the college he’d been expelled from. The character would party with his friends but feel empty knowing he’d been expelled and flee again. It was at that point in the writing, when I saw that if I got kicked out of Occidental, I’d yearn to come back and be heartbroken that I’d be there and it still wouldn’t be mine even if I could have my friends. It was then I realized that college was more than that.

There was a turn around next semester when I got back, firstly because I didn’t want the shame of flunking out of college primarily. There was pride motivating me from the start. More than simply scraping by though, I began to find other things. First, a major that I cared about. I became and English Lit Major and began writing for the school newspaper. For a while, I avoided being social, thinking it had been a plague that had ruined me before, but after a month of hiding, I found myself going out on weekends and enjoying myself again. Why? Because the times you have at college are an organic composition of all the things you do. The parties on the weekends are incredible because of the work you face throughout the week. The friends you make are friends you make while you’re intensely studying things you’re passionate about and working for clubs and other organizations on the campus.

To Return with Meaning
To lose the institution is to lose that which made my friends special to me, that bond we shared. To lose my friends would have done the same to the institution I feel. It’s in learning this, recognizing how much Occidental meant to me that I was able to come back, pull myself out of the pit my GPA was in, and rejoin the community as a passionate and contributing member in aspects both social and academic.

I hope anyone going to college henceforth can recognize that you find your passions and life in all areas of its life, and that college means as much to you as you put into these different areas, social, academic, and extracurricular. I know anyone with the open mind to find something in all these areas to enjoy will walk away from their four years with their only regret being that they didn’t have more time. I’ll let you in on one more secret though: that’s what makes college special, that from the moment you go through orientation, you only have it for those days. Make the most kids.

When I went on college tours, I asked a lot of questions—just not always the right ones. We spend so much time discussing majors and minors, perks and places that it’s easy to miss some crucial details of a college visit. Here are some aspects of college life that I hardly thought about but are really worth considering:

1. Laundry facilities
   Contrary to popular belief, college students actually do laundry (sometimes). And when they do, it’s helpful if the facilities are easily accessible, clean, in good working order, and do not require 17 quarters to do a single load of laundry.
2. On-campus academic support
   I only thought to ask about the professors, but they’re not the only ones doing the teaching on college campuses these days. Upperclassmen are frequently employed as tutors in their areas of strength and can be a real life-saver the night before an exam or while you’re struggling with a paper. I didn’t truly understand the usefulness of academic support services on campus until I became a writing advisor myself—these students are usually paid to sit around and wait for students to come to them with questions. Ask away.
3. Nearness of essential businesses like pharmacies and grocery stores
   Obviously, many schools are in cities and this is not a big issue. When I toured colleges, however, I often asked about stuff to do around town, proximity to potential internships, and things like that. But it’s easy to forget about basic necessities and it makes a big difference if getting a prescription filled is going to be easy as pie or a regular hassle.
4. Availability of late-night nourishment
   I tried the turkey sandwich in just about every cafeteria and mess hall that I visited (and yes, the college I chose did make an excellent turkey sandwich). I asked how students liked the food and tour guides are usually prepared to answer questions about vegetarian/vegan options, kosher choices, and accommodations for various food allergies. But when I toured colleges, I did not anticipate the kind of schedule that a college student keeps—naps taken at 6 p.m. before a late-night study group means that meal times are nebulous at best. Knowing if you can snag a grilled cheese at 10 o’clock is key—because otherwise you’re going to want to buy some Easy Mac at that grocery store we discussed.
5. After-hours study space
   Again, as a high school junior and senior, I did not accurately envision myself as a college student. I set up the desk in my first dorm room with such care and attention to detail, but I would guess now that I did the majority of my schoolwork elsewhere. Sometimes I had so many books that I needed a bigger space, other times I was working with classmates or didn’t want to disturb my roommates. For the first half of my college career, my school’s library was not open 24 hours a day and this made a big difference in where I studied. I never thought to ask about this on a tour, but once I was settled into my first semester, I was seeking out new places to study: the common room, dorm computer labs, an empty classroom. College students’ lives are 24/7 and that means finding study spaces to fit such a non-schedule.

So what questions did everybody else ask on college tours? What do you wish you’d asked?