• I graduated magna cum laude with a 3.85 GPA.
  I graduated .05 points short of summa cum laude.
  
• I attended the University of Cambridge for grad school.
  I attended University College London for study abroad, because I was not selected for the Cambridge study abroad program by the International Programs Office at Occidental College.
  
• I was awarded the Rotary Ambassadorial Scholarship and the Coro.
  I applied for but was not awarded the Truman Scholarship, Gates Scholarship, Marshall Scholarship, Education Pioneers, USA Today, and many others that I have forgotten.
  
• I was the captain of the league-winning St. Catharine’s College Men’s Basketball Team in the B League at Cambridge. Go Wheels!
  I did not make varsity as a junior at Livermore High. Go Cowboys?
  
• I have been accepted before.
  I have been rejected before.
  
• And I will be again.
  And I will be again.
  
• And I am still me. I am still me.

Dear high school students: unless you do not submit enough college applications or you happen to be incredibly lucky, you will be rejected by at least one of your college choices.

In the spirit of tempered future reactions, consider this article a preliminary guarantee of that classic thin envelope arriving in the mail sometime next March, perhaps.

Actually, it just arrived.

Dear Kid,

You did not get into BLNT College. Better luck next time.

Signed,

The Admissions Office

This is an example of a rejection. Seems minor, doesn’t it? It is. But what does it mean!?!?!! You may ask. It means you are probably not going to join the BLNT Class of 2010. Don’t worry, though: you can still be the geophysicist or writer or whatever of your dreams. Why is that?

Because you are still you, and that is pretty great.

In my time as the Executive Director of BetterGrads, I have heard the same nasty phrase from more than a few students: I am not the college type.

Bullshit.

You are not the college type only because you say you are not the college type. Stop saying that. I ask you: at what age did you stop believing in yourself?

When you tried out for the little league team, and made it? When you entered the science fair, and came in fourth place? When you told your mom and dad all about what you learned in class today, because you were so proud and excited for tomorrow?

When did you stop seeing a great face full of promise when you looked in the mirror? This is not mere semantics, but vitally important to ask because, in life, you will only be judged by how you perceive and judge your own reflection – that is, unless you cede that power to others.

My advice to you? Don’t.

Don’t lose your faith. Don’t stop believing in yourself. Or if you don’t believe in yourself now, it’s never too late to start. Don’t take no for an answer. You are the college type. If you don’t truly believe that, who else always will?

Columbia University President Lee Bollinger was rejected as a teenager when he applied to Harvard. His advice, as reported in a wonderful Wall Street Journal article on famous individuals who were rejected by their dream colleges as erstwhile high school students:

Don't let rejections control your life. To "allow other people's assessment of you to determine your own self-assessment is a very big mistake. The question really is, who at the end of the day is going to make the determination about what your talents are, and what your interests are? That has to be you."

President Bollinger is right. That’s what I learned in college. In fact, that’s what a lot of people learn in college – to reject rejection and succeed success – to follow your aspirations beyond individual setbacks and to go beyond trophies and awards to see what really matters: you and the people you love and the people that love you. It is that confidence that can drive you forward to achieve your dreams and live a successful life, rejections and all.

So go forth, apply, be rejected, apply again, be accepted, and all the while, always remember, that it is still you.

And that is what matters, kiddo.

"Why College?" is a series of op-ed articles written by BetterGrads staff and guest contributors about why we chose to continue education after high school, how we got there, and glimpses into what we learned. To begin at Part 1 in the series, click here.

Brenzel advises students not to dwell on rejections, but I would argue that it’s okay and even healthy to allow a little “mourning time” for those skinny envelopes. Even though I was careful to apply to a mix of “reach” and “target” colleges, I was still very disappointed when I didn’t get into a few in particular. It wasn’t about one school being better or superior to others, it was about spending so much time learning about each school, imagining my life there, working hard on the application, and then having that taken off the table rather abruptly. So I think that it’s okay to spend a little time lamenting those rejections before moving on. I browsed the websites one more time, bid adieu to the viewbooks, probably cried over one or two, and then I was able to focus entirely on the colleges that did accept me.

I’m glad that Brenzel discusses the weight that we so often give to  selectivity reports and ranking lists. He advises that students eventually push those aside and make a more holistic decision and I completely agree. My choice came down to Bryn Mawr College and Occidental College and I had a hard time because nobody from my high school had ever even applied to Oxy, so I felt like I was deciding between a total unknown and a well-known, prestigious women’s college. College rankings are like opinionated classmates, teachers, and guidance counselors that come with fancy numbers and percentages to back up their statements. Listen to them, understand them, but don’t let them make the decision for you. It took a lot of effort and energy to view Oxy in its own light, but I’m so glad that I did.

One of the things that helped me do this was overnight stays at each my final two contenders, which Brenzel also advises. Visiting a college as a prospective applicant and visiting as an accepted potential student are extremely different experiences. For one thing, you no longer have to take notes on average SAT scores and application requirements—this time it’s completely about what you want to know and get out of a campus visit. When I visited Bryn Mawr and Oxy post-acceptance, I had a list of specific questions regarding academics, study abroad possibilities, campus housing, academic advising, and much more that I just couldn’t get into on such a detailed level when I was still applying to college. If an in-person visit is out of the question, many admissions offices will help accepted students get in touch with current students with similar interests so that they can ask questions and gain further insight into student life at that particular university.

Last but certainly not least, I wholeheartedly agree with Brenzel’s recommendation that students (and their parents) scrutinize the financial situation for each school. This is one thing that I did not do thoroughly and it complicated things further down the road. Clarifying my situation early on would have made matters much easier after I enrolled.

What do you think of Brenzel’s article? What advice would you add?

In some cases, these same letters may force some soon-to-be graduating high schools seniors to revisit a question they once confidently answered months before penning rough draft personal statements. What's more, the answer to this question may not arrive after one discussion.

The question is simple: “What’s the value of a college degree?” Using qualitative and quantitative analysis, Wall Street Journal columnist Sue Shellenbarger attempted to answer that question. Below you will find excerpts from her December 2009 article as well as some great BetterGrads-inspired commentary.

Finding work you love. College degrees can guide students' career choices in subtler ways. Jason Wotman, 24, loves his work as a co-founder of Tailwaiters, a Great Neck, N.Y., startup that runs tailgate parties for clients at sporting events and concerts. "It's mine, it's my baby. Every step, every ounce of progress, feels good," he says.

His degree in human and organizational development from Vanderbilt University helped launch him as an entrepreneur, he says. His courses in marketing, human-resource management and leadership equipped him well to size up opportunities and run a startup. "Taking it from an idea to an actual business, I felt like I had the tools," he says.

BG comments: Jason’s story illustrates how college is an incubator for great ideas. On a similar note, coursework, research grants, and volunteer opportunities prepared our own Kevin Adler to run Bettergrads.

Preparing for a rich, well-rounded life: To Megan DeLamar Schroeder, Texarkana, Texas, planning the college experience based entirely on future income demeans its true value. "The intangible benefits … cannot be reduced to some kind of short-term cost benefit-analysis, as though one is purchasing a piece of property or an expensive sports car," she says.

She borrowed $40,000 to earn an economics degree from Stanford University in the 1980s, which landed her only an entry-level job at a bank upon graduation. She spent 10 years paying off her student loans. But the experience was worth every penny, she says. The opportunity "to 'marinate' for four years in an amazing environment" served as a "springboard to lifelong learning and inquisitiveness," she says. She will encourage her 10-year-old twin daughters to hew to similar values when they start their college search, she says.

BG comments: What’s the value of “experience” and “intangible benefits?” As Chris Anderson, author of Free: The Future of a Radical Price notes, “Tuition buys direct proximity to ask questions, share ideas, and solicit feedback from academics like [UC Berkeley Physics Professor Richard] Muller. It’s access to the network of other students and the idea exchange, help, and relationships this provides.” That sounds like value to me.

Click here to read the full article and feel free to share your thoughts below.

At BetterGrads, we think the idea of a great fit extends beyond the fashion world. Around this time of year, when prospective students begin to receive their admission letters and weigh their various offers, the phrase “I’m looking for the college that’s the best fit for me” becomes ubiquitous.

At first glance, gauging how a particular college could be the “best fit” sounds nebulous. To the best of my knowledge, there is no magical number crunching formula where one can plug in a values for variables such as quality of social life, number of majors, professor-to-student ratio, etc, and yield a “best fit” rating. However, just as there are simple ways to determine that a suit does not fit one’s body (ex: if the shoulder pads extend beyond your shoulders, you’ve got a problem), there are similar ways to evaluate whether a college will be a great fit too.

Do your homework ahead of time

As a former roommate once told me, “When you know yourself, decision making becomes easy.” Without having to spend an exorbitant amount of money revisiting each school that sends you an acceptance letter, take the time to create a checklist filled with prequalification questions highlighting the necessary attributes required for a college to be considered a great fit. This exercise will provide you with the necessary framework to compare schools across the board. In my case, I knew that I was not ready to attend a college located 3,000 miles away from home. Additionally, the struggles I experienced in some of my larger Advanced Placement classes made me realize the value of the smaller learning environment from my days at a private Jewish day school.

Considering these factors, I decided to pass on the admission offers from two medium-sized schools on the east coast. Thus, putting in the time to generate these prequalification questions was an excellent exercise in helping me narrow down the list of schools that met my requirements and saved me unnecessary travel expenses.

Use your Eye-Q

Yesterday, a co-worker lent me his copy of Stupid, Ugly, Unlucky, and Rich, an easy to read book filled with interviews from a range of folks sharing their thoughts on what really leads to success. In one section of the book, Author Richard St. John shares a quotation from Marilyn vos Savant , “‘To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.’”

So, when visiting schools on admitted students day, use your Eye-Q to help determine whether a particular school will be the “best fit.” For the introverted folks out there, an easy way to learn about campus is to pick up a school newspaper. This one published document provides a snapshot of campus political views, past social events, and in some cases, current student gripes. For those who would describe themselves as extroverts (myself included), I found that talking to the students who were not tour guides or had any affiliation with the admissions department provided me with invaluable insight to hardball topics ranging from access to professors, diversity, strength of the career center, and overall satisfaction with school. Overnight visits are also useful.

Why you should do it:

College overnight visits offer prospective students (or more cutely known as, prospies) an unfiltered, in-your-face opportunity to experience collegiate social life in a way that guidebooks or facebook photos could never showcase. For example, such visits give prospies an insider view on what it means to be a resident in a college dormitory. That’s important, right? Absolutely! During one overnight visit at a UC school, I learned immediately that most students do not party on campus and prefer the college town atmosphere in the neighboring community. Additionally, overnight visits offer prospies an invaluable opportunity to get a feel for campus life.

Want to learn about the hidden menu options at some of the on-campus eateries? Clueless regarding prime study locations on campus once the library turns into a noisy, packed theatre house during finals time? What percentage of students cook for themselves? Does the school invite prominent leaders for seminars and discussions? Are there students who would enjoy discussing Plato’s Symposium at a party rather than getting plastered like everyone else? Going on an overnight visit provides you with VIP access to all the places where you could be hanging out for the next four years, and gives you the chance to spend time chatting with students who experience the college life now.

How to sign up:

Signing up for an overnight opportunity is easy. Once accepted (Cha-Ching!!!! Woo-hoo!), call up the school’s admission office and inquire about the available dates for overnight visits. Sign up early, as these nights tend to fill up quickly, especially the month before admitted individuals must sign their acceptance letters. Note: some colleges offer overnight visits even before admission letters come out. If you are seriously thinking about a school, spending a night will definitely provide you more information, helping you make a more informed decision about applying to or attending a certain school.

What to expect:

The office of admissions matches prospies with first-year students who have similar interests. Prospies spend much of the daytime shadowing first-year students as they attend classes, eat, study, attend club meetings, and perform other activities that are part of the host’s schedule for that day. If you visit on a Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, do not expect the host to take you to a crazy shin dig as these kinds of events tend to take place on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday nights (Also don’t expect anything as extravagant as you will see here and don’t assume that your host will take you to a raging college party if you visit on one of those nights).

How to prepare yourself:

Come in with an open mind!!! If you can, find out about your host’s schedule in advance. Keep in mind that your host is a student, and could be busy on that particular day. Don’t be scared if he or she seems pre-occupied – the host is happy to have you! Be flexible and realistic. This eliminates false expectations, making for a more memorable and enjoyable overnight visit.

Remember, you and your host don’t have to become BFFs overnight. Of course, you would hope that you and your host do get along (you might be spending the next four years of your life at that school – but no sweat off you’re your back if you don’t click with everyone you meet). Don't forget the purpose of the visit: you are here to see the campus, check out the academic and social scenes, and at the right time, ask the big question: Can I see myself here?

And the golden tip for a successful overnight visit: make sure to bring your host a gift to boost your chances of getting invited back or having a quasi friend on the first day of school. Every college student loves good box of chocolate.

Have any cool college overnight visit stories? Feeling inspired to share them? Do so in the comment section below!

Now, if Bettergrads had any input regarding how this app would function, I think our team would want the app to be able compare the cost of attending various colleges. Imagine being able to hold up an iPhone to any text document where the name of a college appears, and with the simple click of the phone’s camera, the phone captures the school name, and instantly provides a line item breakdown of the total costs of attending that school for one year. Cool, right? Sadly, ShopSavvy does not offer that feature. But, here are some BG-inspired ways you can use to comparison-shop colleges.

• List Pros and Cons

This is a tried-and-true method that people use to help make decisions on practically everything. For the folks out there who are still deciding on whether or not to apply to certain schools before the Common Application deadline, and for the students who have already heard back from the Early Decision schools, one smart way to compare colleges and weed out the ones that are not so appealing is to make a list of the Pros and Cons of attending each school. Categories such as location, class size, distance from home, and social life, are some examples you can use to help distinguish one school from the other. In the end, Decision-making becomes easier when all the facts are organized into a clean and simple list.

• Compare Costs Across the Board

This is another, universal decision method to employ when the college search boils down to 3 or 4 schools. Just create a table (either in Microsoft® Excel®, a whiteboard, or paper and pen) with the names of the colleges followed by a detailed list of the various costs associated with attending those colleges. Some costs to consider include the obvious ones such as room and board, financial aid, meal plan, and the not so obvious ones including transportation to and from school, entertainment, books and supplies, etc. Bettergrads believes that author, Henry David Thoreau, known for his quotation, “Simplify, simplify, simplify…” would approve of this method too :)

Applying to colleges and then attempting to figure out where to spend the next two or four years can be a stressful process. The aforementioned comparison-shopping processes are a few ideas that work. Feel free to use the space below or hit us up on twitter by searching @bettergrads to list some more.

1). Follow-Up or Fail

This skill comes to you courtesy of author Keith Ferrazzi from his book Never Eat Alone (NEA). While Ferrazzi spends much of the book explaining the finer points of networking, he spends a significant portion discussing the importance of follow-up.

So, what’s the big idea behind follow-up? Following-up shows you care and are thankful for that gift you received from your aunt or that free lunch with your mentor. Think of all the times your parents made you write thank-you notes. Yes, it was tedious to write them, but from the recipients point-of-view, taking the time to follow-up demonstrated that you valued and appreciated his efforts to spend some time / money on you!
As a high school student looking at colleges, the easiest thing you can do is follow-up with every admissions director, student tour guide, college alumni, etc you meet. It can be as simple as writing a thank-you note, or if you believe you and this individual really hit it off, why not suggest a future meeting where this individual can answer more of your questions and learn more about you. In all, you will be amazed how something so easy as following up can be incredibly rewarding.

2). Tech Skills
Most high schools require students to take 1 semester (or 1 year) of fine art and a technical art respectively. The second one is of significant importance. What do web-design, learning a computer language (JAVA, XML, etc), graphic design, and video-editing all have in common? These skills are useful regardless of your academic path after high school. A student with any of these skills becomes a valuable asset to a group project. Think of all those times where you thought aloud, “Man, if I knew how to edit videos, our presentation on 20th Century U.S.-Iraq Relations would be so much more engaging.” Beyond the classroom, paid opportunities from friends and local business await those who can whip-up a flyer in Adobe® InDesign® promoting a charity event or guest speaker.

Use the time this weekend to think about the many incredible skills you currently possess. Even better, feel free to discuss some of the skills you found to be a significant asset during college.

So, what happens in college when you are struggling with your coursework? Who tutors the college kids? Who offers to the opportunity to proofread your 20-page research paper a few days before you need to turn it in? Who offers the opportunity to take un-timed exams if you have a documented learning disorder?

All of these things happen when you take advantage of your college’s Center for Academic Excellence / Writing Center. These places are usually located somewhere within the caverns of your school’s library (which should become one of your top-5 places you could be found, during any given day, while in college), and should be put to use immediately. Below you are just a few of the services these places offer, in addition to pertinent advice on how to take advantage of the many academic resources available in college

• Peer Tutoring

Usually the kids who displayed exceptional academic performance in introductory level classes (ie Politics 101, Chemistry 101, etc…), will be asked by their professors to either serve as teaching assistants or peer tutors, as these folks demonstrated that they clearly understood and dominated the coursework. Put their phone numbers in your Iphone / Blackberry/ Google phone and make sure you know their availability. Heck, why not treat them to lunch. The point is, these are students who are volunteering their time (though some schools have programs where these individuals are paid for their services), to help you better understand that uber difficult physics problem that you are guaranteed to see again (in a varied form) on your upcoming midterm.

Peer Advisors can point out the missing logical gaps in your 10 page research paper and potentially save you from receiving a lower grade on the assignment (this happened to me on many occasions). Take advantage of these folks, as they are clutch when you cannot wait for a professor to reply to your questions via e-mail or when you missed your prof’s office hours and are looking for another source to resolve your academic problems.

• Attend Office Hours!!

Your professors in college do not want to see you fail. IF that were the case, then why would anyone get pumped up about the idea of 4 more years of learning, with the notion that your professors are setting you up for an abysmal academic experience? All sarcasm aside, visiting your professor during office hours is a great time to get an essay prompt clarified, or to chat with them about a potential career within a given major. As Erhardt shared on Wednesday, it is recommended that you build a relationship with a professor whose class you found intellectually stimulating or perhaps a professor who shares similar passions. Such a relationship will open many doors once post college life begins.

• Explore Testing Options

Many colleges are flexible when it comes to accommodating the academic needs of students who have documented learning disorders. In most cases, you simply need to speak with the Writing Center’s supervisor explaining the nature of your specific situation. From there, this individual will inquire with your professors how they can go about making accommodations to suit your needs. This may take a bit more persistence at a bigger university, but is certainly not out of the question.

Lastly, find a place to study other than the main library (unless you plan on attending a large university such as Cal, UCLA, etc, where the libraries look like 15^th century churches transplanted straight from Madrid and are generally, very awesome looking with stunning interiors). At smaller schools, the library becomes a chatty nightmare during finals week. Look to take advantage of academic buildings during these crazy times, as their enormous whiteboards will save you the frustration of having to cross-out, tear, and destroy many sheets of paper as you attempt to nail that calculus problem that looks oh so daunting. These same classrooms tend to have great sound systems; why not listen to your Passion Pit channel on Pandora, while cramming for that final midterm of your college career.

1. Laundry facilities
   Contrary to popular belief, college students actually do laundry (sometimes). And when they do, it’s helpful if the facilities are easily accessible, clean, in good working order, and do not require 17 quarters to do a single load of laundry.
2. On-campus academic support
   I only thought to ask about the professors, but they’re not the only ones doing the teaching on college campuses these days. Upperclassmen are frequently employed as tutors in their areas of strength and can be a real life-saver the night before an exam or while you’re struggling with a paper. I didn’t truly understand the usefulness of academic support services on campus until I became a writing advisor myself—these students are usually paid to sit around and wait for students to come to them with questions. Ask away.
3. Nearness of essential businesses like pharmacies and grocery stores
   Obviously, many schools are in cities and this is not a big issue. When I toured colleges, however, I often asked about stuff to do around town, proximity to potential internships, and things like that. But it’s easy to forget about basic necessities and it makes a big difference if getting a prescription filled is going to be easy as pie or a regular hassle.
4. Availability of late-night nourishment
   I tried the turkey sandwich in just about every cafeteria and mess hall that I visited (and yes, the college I chose did make an excellent turkey sandwich). I asked how students liked the food and tour guides are usually prepared to answer questions about vegetarian/vegan options, kosher choices, and accommodations for various food allergies. But when I toured colleges, I did not anticipate the kind of schedule that a college student keeps—naps taken at 6 p.m. before a late-night study group means that meal times are nebulous at best. Knowing if you can snag a grilled cheese at 10 o’clock is key—because otherwise you’re going to want to buy some Easy Mac at that grocery store we discussed.
5. After-hours study space
   Again, as a high school junior and senior, I did not accurately envision myself as a college student. I set up the desk in my first dorm room with such care and attention to detail, but I would guess now that I did the majority of my schoolwork elsewhere. Sometimes I had so many books that I needed a bigger space, other times I was working with classmates or didn’t want to disturb my roommates. For the first half of my college career, my school’s library was not open 24 hours a day and this made a big difference in where I studied. I never thought to ask about this on a tour, but once I was settled into my first semester, I was seeking out new places to study: the common room, dorm computer labs, an empty classroom. College students’ lives are 24/7 and that means finding study spaces to fit such a non-schedule.

So what questions did everybody else ask on college tours? What do you wish you’d asked?